I know of at least two fears that often prevent us of experiencing truly powerful reflection.  One is the fear of being seen.  The other is the fear of seeing. Attached, please find a photograph of my own reflection. You’ll notice, please, that I have taped the words “VERY” and “RELIGIOUS” on the wall behind me.  I want you to know that I wrote those words with orange magic marker on blue construction paper.  It wasn’t easy, because I had to write the words backwards, so that they would appear correctly in the reflection.  The reason I wrote them and taped them to the background is because I want you to think that I am very religious.  I wasn’t shooting for subtlety; I was shooting for religiosity.  It may be possible that I was trying to come across as post-ironic, but who could tell, anyway? Please notice, also, that I am wearing a shiny pink tie.  I tied this on in hopes that you would fancy me to be sensitive and/or sophisticated.  I chose to appear in my 10+ year old zip-up hoody, so that you’d judge me to be laid-back.  I messed my hair up a little, going for the slacker-chic look, which I hoped you would find charming.  I bugged my eyes out so you’d see me as interesting/funny/crazy/intense/weird/silly/serious.  I stuck my phone in front of my face to hide my face, hoping you’d see me as mysterious, and, also, so that you would notice the recognizable logo of the well known computer maker who made my extremely fancy phone. It’s possible that I took this picture this way so that I would think I am those things (very religious, sensitive and/or sophisticated, laid-back, slacker-chic, charming, interesting, funny, crazy, intense, weird, silly, serious, mysterious, in possession of an extremely fancy phone, and possibly post-ironic). In reality, this is not a very useful reflection (except as a heavy handed illustration in making a point). With regards to how I relate to you and others, this photo withholds more than it discloses.  Every affectation serves to distract you from paying close attention to me.  You can infer a thing or two about my tastes and values, but a few implications and the opportunity to infer is really all I’ve given you. For my own sake, I get nothing from this reflection except self-deceit, which is worse than nothing at all. Consider ways you use a mirror each day.  Most of us look into the mirror with critical eyes.  If we don’t we’ll be walking around all day with nose and ear hairs flowing in the breeze.  I don’t want visible nose hairs.  I can choose to stick my phone in front of my nose, or I can lean in and look up my nostrils from different angles, trimming as necessary.  The leaning in and trimming is less pleasant, but more rewarding. I won’t pretend that reflection is just one or two things, that it’s only useful for full-self-disclosure or pluckin’ nose hairs.  Reflection is what we make of it, and it calls for different levels of disclosure and examination under different circumstances.  But, in any case, reflection demands that we face the fear of being seen, and the fear of seeing.=

submitted by Lex Robertson, Spokane, WA,  former Crosspoint Member